• Call Now: 405.341.3554
  • Connect

Edmond Family Counseling Articles

Articles by the Counselors at Edmond Family Counseling


Friday, July 27, 2018

By: Audrey Woods, LCP Candidate

I’m reading this novel about a man who was born in the 16th century and is still alive today. With lifetimes of experience the main character, Tom, observes “what defines a human being is being a human.” I believe we are too often picking apart or overthinking new people or experiences to an unhelpful degree. Or at least I am.

It’s completely natural for your brain to try and define something new. Think of your brain like a file cabinet. From day one, it’s filing every single one of your experiences. The more experiences you have, the more sub-sections. Babies recognize dogs, cats, and pigs only as “animals” until they have enough experience (and cognitive ability) to begin breaking that information into groups of information like domesticated animals, farm animals, wild animals, etc. So when you encounter a new person or experience, your brain is trying desperately to find the right drawer by searching through your experiences and knowledge to date. Likely, those experiences and that knowledge are based on third party information you’ve gathered from friends, family, media, and other places. Your brain is also pretty lazy. It’s going to stop trying to file new information if it believes it’s found the correct spot. Enter bias.

Bias is different from any of the “isms.” It isn’t inherently hateful or negative, but it can be those things. It can also be overly positive or optimistic. Bias is simply the tendency for your brain to prematurely file information away without actually putting any effort into investigating the new experience. This tendency is especially strong when we meet new people. It’s impossible not to have bias because we’re humans. So you’re not alone.

As a social scientist, I encourage thoughtful and holistic analysis. Slow your brain down enough to obtain the full picture: Where did this person grow up? What were his or her parents like? What resources does this person currently have? In short, put this person into context. If you are unable to garner enough information to paint the full picture, then your picture will never be as bright or intricate as reality. It will be an ugly half-truth.

How do you get the full picture? You investigate with an open mind! You start by becoming more aware of your biases, challenging them when necessary, and re-filing information to a more appropriate place in your head. This requires practice and exposure to the ‘new.’ Bias is usually intensified during situations that evoke fear or anxiety… like new situations. A helpful way to calm that anxiety or fear could be to remind yourself of Tom’s realization. First and foremost, new people are people who deserve the same respect, compassion, and dignity that you deserve. Your ‘people file’ should automatically enact a series of beliefs that lead to the inevitable conclusion that this person, this new person, this different person, is a human being.



Post has no comments.
Post a Comment

Captcha Image

Trackback Link
Post has no trackbacks.

Recent Posts


Prevention Help for panic and anxiety Prom safety Jackie Shaw Affluenza What Matters Most Program Eating Disorder Drug Use gadgets Communication Twenty Somethings Spanking Back to School Disciplining Teens Prom Trauma Therapy Teen Safety Underage Drinking Teens and cell phones The Martian Book Social anxiety Speaker Listener Technique Millenials Unemployment Feldman and Kravetz Heroin in the Suburbs College Social Media Divorce with minor children goals How do children process trauma Holiday stress Drugs 710 Role Models Teenage Boys The Amazing Race DIY Marriage counseling Marriage How to detect signs of depression Organization Edmond Character Council Panic Retirement Grandparenting Waxing Developmentally appropriate strategies for grief counseling non-verbal communication Instagram Sexual Abuse Mental Health Drug Abuse Suicide Prevention for Teens Dr. Rhonda Patrick Conflict Links between unemployment and depression College Age Children Grandparents as parents Bullying How common are panic attacks Depression Boundaries World Health Organization Grandparent Initiative Unemployment and depression Gender Roles What Really Matters Panic Disorder Summer time parenting Golden Child bucket list Self Investment Bong personal growth Lee Daniel Kravetz Panic attacks Peers Happiness How long should counseling take Audrey Woods Summer Discipline Heroin Crisis Schedule 1 Drug New year’s resolution Communicating with your child Emotional Development Decision-Making Managing substance abuse Young Adults Changing Problem Behavior Parenting Teenagers When Teens Should Get a Cell Phone Disability Mayme White Miller John Goetz Procrastination Funding privilege Technology Parkland Shooter Wax Teen Drug Use Impact of Suicide Chad McCoy Medical Use of Marijuana in Oklahoma Consequences Death Confidentiality Sheila Stinnett Suicide Prevention Recommendations Communicating with your teen Political Correctness Positive Thinking Communication techniques for couples Divorce Parenting Suicide Oklahoma Department of Human Services Butane Hask Oil Co-Parenting Class Independent Living Time Management Ben Carson Political bias Detox Diet Prescription Drugs ADA Amanda Percival Risk taking Strong Willed Child fads Andy Weir AARP The Miracle Worker Children Snapchat Nutrition and stress parenting college age kids Great Depression Anxiety Captain of Your Ship Teens and Time Management Call of Duty Domestic violence resources David Feldman HB 2249 Early Treatment of Depression Positive Reinforcement Newsletter Teenage perception of drug use Food Allergies Normalcy Terrorism and children What to do when you are laid off Adult Children Childhood depression Girl Strong Stress Microagression Prom guidelines for teens Substance Abuse Drinking in high school Enabling Adult Children How to talk to your kids about terrorism Mild-Depression Edmond Municipal Court Seniors How prevalent is domestic violence Exercise treatment for depression Teens Use of Technology Teen Jobs Brain Research Teens and Smartphones Cell Phones Negative Thinking What is domestic violence How to recognize domestic violence Teen Suicide Scapegoating Personality Test Alcohol Self Image Edmond drug use Supersurvivors Addiction Choices Limitations of counseling The Martian Movie Culture Dating Relationships Fear James Dobson College Transitions Grounded Hope Community Suicide Prevention Programs Oklahoma drug use Family Systems Theory Aggregated News for Teens Apps for Teens Anger list Family Theory Elizabeth Loftus Character Development Facebook Edmond Family Counseling Parenting through Divorce Marriage counseling Positive Illusions Divorce School Al McCormick Teenagers Is therapy forever Bias and memory United States Drug Enforcement Agency Learning Disabilites Reading Parent peer pressure Holidays Michael Jackson Working Parents School Anxiety 5 Love Languages Hanna Baker School Oklahoma Statute on Marijuana Presidential debate Dr. Ben Carson high school Depression and social media History Quinton Ellis Twitter GirlStrong Legalization of Marijuana Freshman Year 13 Reasons Why Darcy McConnell National Drug Threat Assessment Summary Belinda Crosier Will counseling work quickly Emotions Support Group Annie Sullivan Co-Parenting Retirement Planning How to manage anxiety Edmond Parenting with purpose Tetra-Amelia Syndrome How many sessions do I need Americans with Disabilities Act Movies for Teens self-sabotage Butane Honey Oil Setting Boundaries with Adult Children Why did the system fail Opiods Child Development Codependency The Golden Years HK pen Tumblr Helen Keller Misconceptions of Smoking Marijuana The Butterfly Circus Fidget Spinners Siblings in Conflict Entitlement Syndrome College Campus 13 Reasons Why NOT Sanjay Gupta Child Abuse Donald Miller Parenting and Cell Phones Micro-aggression Setting Boundaries for Your Teen Family Roles Teen Parenting Self-Esteem Gun violence and mental health Goal Setting Ridley Scott Learning Joshua and Rebecca Weigel Disasters Summer Plans for Teens Jay Asher Isolation in teens Teenage Development spring Marijuana Bias How to control panic attacks ADHD Chores for Teens


Call Us Now!