• Call Now: 405.341.3554
  • Connect

Edmond Family Counseling Articles

Articles by the Counselors at Edmond Family Counseling

I’ll go to the gym...

Sunday, July 20, 2014
Edmond Life and Leisure Article

By Chad McCoy, M.A.

So the other day I went to the gym. I walked in, they scanned my fob, and I set out to accomplish something that I’ve never accomplished before. With any great feat of strength there is much to prepare prior to hitting up the gym: I read articles and watched videos from professionals about proper lifting techniques, how to avoid injury during lifting, and how to get the most out of your reps. As I place my keys and fob in the gym lockers, I also placed my iPhone ear buds in and cranked up some “Avenge Sevenfold”. I place a large amount of weight on the straight bar that lay before me on the floor. With each plate racked on the bar, my anticipation grew proportionately. I addressed the bar and felt that pump. Music was right and each movement was intensified by the mixture of supplements coursing through my veins. I addressed the bar, engaged the weight and took to accomplishing a dead lift of 450-lbs. As I feel the force resist my will, I open my eyes to notice the weight. It hadn’t budged an inch. The most movement the weight had done was me moving it from the rack to the bar. It sat there mocking me. Where did I go wrong?

I’ve known many people who have dead lifted 450-lbs.; one of which is a 50+ year old gentleman. That’s near twice my senior!!! What I haven’t divulged until this moment is that I have never lifted anything close to 450-lbs. Never. Viewing it through this lens, my failure looks a lot more appropriate. I had done the research. I read the articles and watched the videos, at right, had “my jams” going. I was thinking positively about my lift, but maybe where I went wrong was that I had an illusion that didn’t match reality. 
I have teens and young adults come to me with similarly outlandish goals. Once I had a 17 year old young lady tell me that by 21 she would be living in a 5,000-sq. ft. home driving a brand spanking new Audi. When I asked her how she would accomplish this, she really didn’t have an answer other than, “It’ll just happen.” I loved the self-confidence! Seriously. By then she’ll have lassoed the moon presumably. However, I remain skeptical.
Positive illusions are something David Feldman and Lee Kravetz discuss in their new book, Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link between Suffering and Success (http://www.supersurvivors.com/). Positive illusions can be defined as the idea of confidence and increased self-control over situations. The idea that we have a hand to play in all situations, and that hand, is the winning one. This can appear arrogant but make no mistake that positive illusions can be useful. Positive thinking, doesn’t necessarily make events happen. No, if that were the case, we’d all be living in 5,000-sq. ft. homes driving Range Rovers. Positive illusions can be enhanced by having hope, not delusional hope but hope that is grounded in reality. This, you see, is where I made my mistake.
The reality was that I wasn’t ever going to be able to deadlift 450-lbs. that day. I had the illusion that I could. I somewhat prepared but the reality was, no, I wasn’t going to budge that bar. A more realistic conclusions for me is that I would lift 300-lbs, something I’ve done before. From there, putting in work, staying realistically positive about my goals and having a little bit of patience and determination, I would someday be able to meet that 450-lb. goal.
Staying realistically positive sets individuals up for success and happiness. By removing the flamboyant, reckless, “in the clouds” thinking, looking at available resources, and adopting habits of hard work, we can create a winning situation for people. A good therapist can help with this. An objective point of view helps reshape irrational expectations into realistic planning. It takes teamwork to develop a plan. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I will go to the gym!

Anonymous commented on 22-Jul-2014 07:05 PM
*Avenged Sevenfold, and if you would listen to Five Finger Death Punch that 450 lbs. would lift itself.
Anonymous commented on 22-Jul-2014 07:47 PM
Great article Chad! Positive thinking, hard work, determination, all set in realistic expectations. Great message for the readers. Proud of ya.

Post a Comment

Captcha Image

Trackback Link
Post has no trackbacks.

Recent Posts


Grandparents as parents Depression School Anxiety Entitlement Syndrome Marriage Time Management Donald Miller diet Elizabeth Loftus Confidentiality 13 Reasons Why NOT Grounded Hope Wax Addiction What to do when you are laid off Affluenza Reading Opiods College 13 Reasons Why Summer Teens and cell phones ADA Grandparenting Learning Codependency Dr. Rhonda Patrick high school Prom guidelines for teens Learning Disabilites Belinda Crosier Helen Keller Snapchat Culture Michael Jackson Teenage perception of drug use David Feldman Teen Drug Use Procrastination MEDITERRANEAN DIET Drugs Scapegoating HB 2249 Choices Consequences Panic Jay Asher Emotions Limitations of counseling Boundaries THE KETOGENIC DIET Captain of Your Ship Holiday stress The Golden Years Early Treatment of Depression Positive Reinforcement Underage Drinking Apps for Teens Developmentally appropriate strategies for grief counseling Parkland Shooter Seniors Communication College Age Children United States Drug Enforcement Agency Medical Use of Marijuana in Oklahoma Organization Bias and memory THE PALEO DIET Food Allergies Parenting Teenagers Community Suicide Prevention Programs When Teens Should Get a Cell Phone Social Media Impact of Suicide Nutrition and stress Teenage Development Twitter Exercise treatment for depression Bullying Discipline Edmond drug use Movies for Teens Working Parents Marriage counseling Feldman and Kravetz Self-Esteem Detox Diet History Managing substance abuse How to recognize domestic violence Bias fads non-verbal communication Decision-Making School Unemployment and depression What is domestic violence Teen Jobs Dating Communicating with your child Siblings in Conflict Mayme White Miller Al McCormick Summer time parenting Peers Character Development Mental Health Independent Living Fidget Spinners Grandparent Initiative Disability How to detect signs of depression Suicide Butane Honey Oil DIY Marriage counseling Freshman Year Prescription Drugs Holidays Great Depression Millenials goals Legalization of Marijuana The Amazing Race AARP Prom Cell Phones Andy Weir Help for panic and anxiety Oklahoma Department of Human Services brain gadgets Edmond Character Council list Suicide Prevention for Teens Twenty Somethings Communicating with your teen Speaker Listener Technique Divorce School How to talk to your kids about terrorism Positive Thinking Positive Illusions 710 Butane Hask Oil Death Emotional Development Girl Strong Child Development Unemployment Edmond Municipal Court College Transitions Newsletter What Matters Most Program Prevention Teen Suicide Edmond College Campus The Miracle Worker Golden Child Gender Roles Parenting and Cell Phones Panic Disorder self-sabotage Risk taking GirlStrong Young Adults Conflict Parenting Prom safety Teen Parenting Hanna Baker What Really Matters Strong Willed Child Lee Daniel Kravetz Links between unemployment and depression Spanking Mild-Depression Parenting with purpose Sexual Abuse Tetra-Amelia Syndrome Supersurvivors Role Models Darcy McConnell Childhood depression Call of Duty New year’s resolution Dr. Ben Carson Enabling Adult Children Depression and social media Family Systems Theory Children Self Image Joshua and Rebecca Weigel World Health Organization Communication techniques for couples Teen Safety Teens Use of Technology Changing Problem Behavior Happiness Teens and Time Management Facebook Disciplining Teens HK pen Divorce with minor children Substance Abuse Instagram Summer Plans for Teens Adult Children How long should counseling take Drinking in high school Alcohol Funding Disasters The Martian Book How to control panic attacks Sanjay Gupta Ridley Scott Bong Social anxiety The Martian Movie Amanda Percival Drug Use Eating Disorder Self Investment Marijuana Teens and Smartphones Audrey Woods John Goetz Setting Boundaries with Adult Children Domestic violence resources Isolation in teens Co-Parenting Class Anxiety Microagression Co-Parenting Waxing Presidential debate James Dobson Fear Edmond Family Counseling Chad McCoy Chores for Teens Normalcy National Drug Threat Assessment Summary Technology Anger Misconceptions of Smoking Marijuana Annie Sullivan Parenting through Divorce Brain Research Divorce Panic attacks privilege Tumblr Support Group Americans with Disabilities Act Oklahoma Statute on Marijuana Family Theory How common are panic attacks spring Ben Carson Jackie Shaw How to manage anxiety personal growth The Butterfly Circus Aggregated News for Teens bucket list Therapy Teenagers ADHD responsibility Negative Thinking Teenage Boys Heroin Crisis Quinton Ellis Trauma Gun violence and mental health Will counseling work quickly Parent peer pressure Drug Abuse Relationships Suicide Prevention Recommendations How prevalent is domestic violence Oklahoma drug use Is therapy forever How many sessions do I need Setting Boundaries for Your Teen Back to School Heroin in the Suburbs Political bias How do children process trauma Personality Test Stress Why did the system fail parenting college age kids Political Correctness Child Abuse Retirement Sheila Stinnett Schedule 1 Drug Retirement Planning Goal Setting Family Roles Terrorism and children Micro-aggression 5 Love Languages


Call Us Now!