• Call Now: 405.341.3554
  • Connect

Edmond Family Counseling Articles

Articles by the Counselors at Edmond Family Counseling

In The Good Ol’ Summertime

Friday, May 08, 2015

By Belinda Crosier, LPC, LADC

Oh, those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer!  They’re almost here, & with them, come expectations by parents & children about what those days will render.  Sometimes those expectations don’t align very closely at all, nor are they likely to be spoken aloud, which leads eventually to surprising realizations by all parties.  It’s safe to say most adolescents expect that very description to come to fruition----lazy, hazy & yes, even crazy, while parents usually expect – or at least hope – to see their kids being slightly more productive.   One way to navigate this more smoothly is to have a family meeting ASAP after the last school bell rings & make the expectations clear.  This will probably be met with fewer groans & rolled eyes if parents can acknowledge that they’re willing for their kids to have some fun while school is out.  That being said, now to the unpleasantness of establishing summer rules about…….(yuck!) chores.  There are several ways to look at this age-old source of grumbles; however, I personally feel that chores are simply preparation for the real world & that all kids should have chores all the time, but not everyone in Edmond, America concurs.  The question is, do the kids take on extra chores in the summer?  It’s seems reasonable, especially if both parents have jobs outside the home, that the people in the house with the most spare time on their hands, could take on an extra task or two without risking enslavement.  Factor in the expense of increased activities kids expect to participate in & those additional chores can be seen as a means of earning their fun, which is how the real works for most of us. 

Then there’s the sticky wicket of (yuck, again!) curfew.  Adolescents, in particular, seem to operate under the belief that everyone in the free world can stay up half the night & sleep half the day, wreaking havoc on the sleep schedules of their parents.  It is not unreasonable to expect – or demand – that your children be – and stay – in the house after a designated hour of your choosing.   Explaining that the roof over their heads and the latest electronic gadget in their hands at that moment exist as a result of the adults in the household being able to wake up & get to their appointed responsibilities five to seven days a week, might make it a little more palatable to suggest that if their nighttime antics prevent that from happening, they will be prevented from enjoying those luxuries.  It’s not incomprehensible that parents may have to employ some innovative methods for insuring their kiddos stay tucked in the house beyond the established bewitching hour. 

Having been there & done that myself, I understand this will elicit many complaints, and certain testing of the limits & consequences.  If these rules have been sufficiently explained from the get-go, the broken record technique (i.e., “The rule is…………..” as many as times as needed) will suffice to restate the expectation without being drawn into any lengthy debate about the perceived fairness of these rules.  Having a pre-thought out response to complaints/accusations such as, “Thank you for your thoughts on that,” or a simple, “Could be,” with a little smile, lets your child know you’ve heard their protest but you’re not swayed by it.  The truly persistent youngster may well intensify the attack, but you, as the just-as-persistent parent, continue to mindlessly repeat the broken record statement.  The ‘mindless’, or automatic response will help you stay detached, and by not feeling you need to defend your stance, it’s more likely you’ll avoid taking the resistance as a personal affront and thereby sidestep attack/counter-attack, escalating interactions with your child.  Have a great summer!  Edmond Family Counseling is here to support you and your family.  Please support us with your donation so everyone has access to mental health care. www.edmondfamily.org

Post has no comments.
Post a Comment

Captcha Image

Trackback Link
Post has no trackbacks.

Recent Posts


Panic Disorder Death Happiness What is domestic violence Procrastination Why did the system fail Mental Health Independent Living Prescription Drugs Presidential debate Negative Thinking Oklahoma Department of Human Services DIY Marriage counseling Boundaries Panic attacks Addiction Impact of Suicide Political bias Legalization of Marijuana Tumblr Unemployment and depression Helen Keller AARP Emotions Edmond self-sabotage Edmond Municipal Court Suicide Teen Jobs Siblings in Conflict Funding 5 Love Languages Great Depression Audrey Woods Decision-Making School Positive Illusions Chores for Teens Communication techniques for couples Exercise treatment for depression personal growth Family Theory Relationships Changing Problem Behavior Captain of Your Ship Divorce with minor children Heroin Crisis Political Correctness Suicide Prevention Recommendations Belinda Crosier John Goetz Teen Suicide Waxing Drugs Will counseling work quickly Freshman Year ADHD Self-Esteem Setting Boundaries for Your Teen Twitter Joshua and Rebecca Weigel Help for panic and anxiety high school Summer Plans for Teens Call of Duty Choices Depression and social media Parenting with purpose Sexual Abuse Medical Use of Marijuana in Oklahoma The Butterfly Circus Isolation in teens Bullying Substance Abuse Co-Parenting Marijuana Early Treatment of Depression Adult Children Bias and memory Role Models Teenage Boys GirlStrong Prom guidelines for teens Teenagers Reading Panic The Miracle Worker Is therapy forever Eating Disorder Unemployment Cell Phones Grandparent Initiative Holiday stress How common are panic attacks Children Summer What to do when you are laid off How to recognize domestic violence Spanking The Golden Years Gun violence and mental health Food Allergies Holidays Enabling Adult Children Links between unemployment and depression Prevention Teenage Development Seniors Prom safety Parent peer pressure Discipline The Martian Movie Goal Setting Darcy McConnell Depression Dr. Ben Carson Support Group Dating Personality Test Al McCormick Marriage counseling Amanda Percival Teens and Smartphones HK pen Andy Weir Heroin in the Suburbs Social anxiety Disasters Back to School Detox Diet Speaker Listener Technique Consequences 710 What Really Matters Retirement Disability Parenting Teenagers How prevalent is domestic violence Communication Retirement Planning Jay Asher Lee Daniel Kravetz Facebook Mild-Depression Divorce School Michael Jackson Alcohol Working Parents Positive Thinking Girl Strong Teenage perception of drug use College Technology 13 Reasons Why NOT Ben Carson Character Development Grandparenting Therapy goals How to detect signs of depression 13 Reasons Why Golden Child Social Media gadgets Teen Drug Use Setting Boundaries with Adult Children Co-Parenting Class Grounded Hope Teen Parenting Child Abuse How do children process trauma Butane Honey Oil Positive Reinforcement Teens Use of Technology Americans with Disabilities Act parenting college age kids Self Image Terrorism and children Fear Nutrition and stress Entitlement Syndrome Edmond Character Council Teens and Time Management Young Adults Stress Mayme White Miller Jackie Shaw Annie Sullivan Newsletter Parkland Shooter Conflict non-verbal communication Anger Teen Safety Limitations of counseling Micro-aggression bucket list College Transitions Codependency Developmentally appropriate strategies for grief counseling Peers Edmond drug use School Anxiety Butane Hask Oil Edmond Family Counseling Drinking in high school ADA Family Systems Theory Gender Roles Childhood depression Microagression National Drug Threat Assessment Summary Trauma Sanjay Gupta Parenting and Cell Phones How long should counseling take Feldman and Kravetz Strong Willed Child The Amazing Race Twenty Somethings Grandparents as parents Oklahoma drug use Domestic violence resources Donald Miller Culture Disciplining Teens How to control panic attacks Organization Communicating with your teen James Dobson Summer time parenting Scapegoating Elizabeth Loftus Snapchat Opiods Learning Disabilites Suicide Prevention for Teens Emotional Development Drug Abuse Divorce United States Drug Enforcement Agency Teens and cell phones World Health Organization Parenting spring Hanna Baker Misconceptions of Smoking Marijuana How to manage anxiety HB 2249 Aggregated News for Teens David Feldman Self Investment Oklahoma Statute on Marijuana Bong New year’s resolution When Teens Should Get a Cell Phone How many sessions do I need Sheila Stinnett Instagram Movies for Teens Brain Research Learning Supersurvivors privilege Apps for Teens Fidget Spinners Wax Family Roles Millenials The Martian Book College Age Children Affluenza Marriage Normalcy list Bias Prom Community Suicide Prevention Programs Time Management Chad McCoy Dr. Rhonda Patrick fads College Campus How to talk to your kids about terrorism Ridley Scott What Matters Most Program Risk taking Communicating with your child Anxiety Schedule 1 Drug Confidentiality Child Development Tetra-Amelia Syndrome Managing substance abuse Underage Drinking History Parenting through Divorce Drug Use Quinton Ellis


Call Us Now!