• Call Now: 405.341.3554
  • Connect

Edmond Family Counseling Articles

Articles by the Counselors at Edmond Family Counseling

Watch and Learn, A Little About Fear

Monday, August 19, 2013
by John Goetz

Vicarious learning is the ability to “watch and learn”. People have the ability to experience events through imagined participation in the situation and to make note of the behaviors of those involved and learn from the resulting consequences, positive, negative or neutral. The interesting thing is we do not even have to see the event or interaction taking place. We can benefit from vicarious learning through an event that is “second hand”; a story we are told, a book we read, or a movie we watch. Social psychologists argue that vicarious learning is the primary way humans learn. The topic of human learning is huge so I am going to focus on a narrow slice and take a glimpse at un-defined fear. 

Vicariously, reading is an excellent opportunity to learn more about fear. In the science fiction best seller Dune by Frank Herbert, the reader comes across a scene in which the main character is tested with an event which is designed to produce intense fear. In order to pass this test the character recites a prayer of sorts, “The Litany Against Fear”.

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger. If we did not feel it, we would not know to protect ourselves from legitimate threats. Too often we fear situations that are in no way life or death and thus do not act when there is no reason. Traumas, bad experiences and even the thought of a bad experience can trigger a fear response that causes us to hold back and not more forward with our lives. Fear is a mind killer which causes our brains to narrow in focus and in the extreme, even shut down when we are faced with a truly dangerous situation. Emergency First Responders go through intense training and conditioning in order to prepare for this. Remember the scene in “Saving Private Ryan” in which the character “Upham” freezes on the stairwell. This is a normal experience, not cowardice.

The interesting thing is that perceived fear may have the same effects as fear based on real danger. These fears are characterized by their irrational nature. In fact anxiety and depression are characterized by common irrational thoughts and distortions, which often boil down to unrealistic fears. It is by facing our fears and experiencing the events that we have been avoiding that we discover that they are irrational and that they will disappear as we face them. As we take action and the fears dissipate like morning fog being burned off by the sun, we discover that we are capable, independent and resilient.

P.S. Read a book, any book. Learn vicariously!

Please help support Edmond Family Counseling by mailing a donation to 1251 N. Broadway, Ste. C, Edmond, OK 73034 or by visiting our website www.edmondfamilycounseling.org and donating online. Remember to “Like Us” on Facebook.



Comments
Post has no comments.
Post a Comment



Captcha Image

Trackback Link
http://edmondfamilycounseling.org/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=17125&PostID=1099362&A=Trackback
Trackbacks
Post has no trackbacks.

Recent Posts


Tags

Edmond Family Counseling Setting Boundaries for Your Teen James Dobson Early Treatment of Depression Strong Willed Child Disasters responsibility Bias Dr. Ben Carson Apps for Teens Underage Drinking Culture Supersurvivors Peers Prevention goals Cell Phones Millenials Disability Suicide Prevention for Teens parenting college age kids When Teens Should Get a Cell Phone What Matters Most Program Edmond Municipal Court HB 2249 Bong personal growth Time Management Addiction Prescription Drugs Emotional Development diet AARP Mental Health Butane Hask Oil Panic attacks Procrastination Character Development College Age Children Edmond drug use Nutrition and stress Medical Use of Marijuana in Oklahoma Death What Really Matters Tumblr Teen Parenting Decision-Making Teen Jobs DIY Marriage counseling 13 Reasons Why NOT 5 Love Languages Annie Sullivan Adult Children How to talk to your kids about terrorism How to recognize domestic violence Summer time parenting Jackie Shaw Scapegoating Ridley Scott Misconceptions of Smoking Marijuana Summer School Terrorism and children Communicating with your child Prom fads Suicide Suicide Prevention Recommendations Co-Parenting Ben Carson Legalization of Marijuana Edmond Character Council Social Media Heroin Crisis How long should counseling take How many sessions do I need Food Allergies Confidentiality Teenagers Retirement Planning Prom safety Heroin in the Suburbs Alcohol Marriage counseling Drug Abuse Grandparenting Snapchat Joshua and Rebecca Weigel privilege Micro-aggression Entitlement Syndrome Parent peer pressure Americans with Disabilities Act Depression Political bias Brain Research non-verbal communication Teens Use of Technology Independent Living How to detect signs of depression World Health Organization Family Roles Oklahoma Department of Human Services College Enabling Adult Children Political Correctness David Feldman Facebook Marriage HK pen Positive Thinking Normalcy Limitations of counseling Support Group Teens and cell phones list Teenage Boys Developmentally appropriate strategies for grief counseling Twitter How do children process trauma Managing substance abuse John Goetz Back to School United States Drug Enforcement Agency Teens and Time Management Positive Reinforcement spring Parenting through Divorce Choices Waxing Panic Disorder Siblings in Conflict Eating Disorder Drugs Dr. Rhonda Patrick Jay Asher Negative Thinking Schedule 1 Drug Young Adults The Martian Book Domestic violence resources Bias and memory Tetra-Amelia Syndrome Belinda Crosier Feldman and Kravetz Conflict Happiness How to control panic attacks Drinking in high school Instagram Quinton Ellis Role Models Parkland Shooter Freshman Year Teen Drug Use Fidget Spinners Marijuana Chores for Teens Teenage perception of drug use Sexual Abuse Childhood depression Great Depression Audrey Woods Communication techniques for couples Emotions Social anxiety How common are panic attacks Holidays Lee Daniel Kravetz Butane Honey Oil Wax Goal Setting Grounded Hope What is domestic violence Hanna Baker Gun violence and mental health ADA Retirement Call of Duty The Golden Years Discipline Gender Roles Funding THE PALEO DIET Help for panic and anxiety New year’s resolution Affluenza Boundaries Changing Problem Behavior Elizabeth Loftus Helen Keller Golden Child brain gadgets Depression and social media Newsletter Seniors Aggregated News for Teens Self-Esteem Setting Boundaries with Adult Children Substance Abuse Parenting ADHD Child Abuse The Miracle Worker Microagression Oklahoma Statute on Marijuana College Transitions Divorce with minor children Spanking 13 Reasons Why Exercise treatment for depression Anxiety Panic Is therapy forever Sanjay Gupta Technology The Amazing Race Fear Mayme White Miller Dating Children Self Investment Consequences Communicating with your teen The Butterfly Circus Why did the system fail Drug Use Teen Safety Al McCormick National Drug Threat Assessment Summary School Anxiety Speaker Listener Technique Opiods Co-Parenting Class Captain of Your Ship Prom guidelines for teens Family Systems Theory Holiday stress Teenage Development Amanda Percival Twenty Somethings Learning Disabilites Parenting with purpose Anger History Risk taking How prevalent is domestic violence The Martian Movie Donald Miller Stress Personality Test Disciplining Teens bucket list Andy Weir Unemployment and depression Darcy McConnell What to do when you are laid off Reading Oklahoma drug use Learning Presidential debate Positive Illusions MEDITERRANEAN DIET Divorce School Edmond Child Development Working Parents Michael Jackson Codependency Self Image high school GirlStrong Therapy Communication Parenting Teenagers Organization Bullying Trauma Parenting and Cell Phones Teen Suicide Detox Diet Unemployment Grandparents as parents Teens and Smartphones Will counseling work quickly Grandparent Initiative Movies for Teens Relationships College Campus Summer Plans for Teens Links between unemployment and depression self-sabotage Chad McCoy Isolation in teens Impact of Suicide 710 Divorce THE KETOGENIC DIET How to manage anxiety Community Suicide Prevention Programs Sheila Stinnett Girl Strong Mild-Depression Family Theory

Archive

Call Us Now!